Finding Me…..by Me

This next guest post is by The Short Black Girl, who simply wants to be known as Me.  Me writes from her soul and you can tell she has a beautiful heart. In this poem about self-discovery, you will meet her and perhaps understand that all of us have our foibles, no matter what facade we exude. Enjoy!

Finding Me

In moments of wait,

When I, turned up

Against the ticking clock,

Tick- tock, tick- tock,

Grow scared and weary,

Alone, and forgotten,

Waiting for hope,

Waiting for joy,

Waiting for love,

And promises and dreams;

I suck on breath,

Yet I wait to die–

 

I am always waiting;

For inchoation, for the end.

Through cacophonic melodies

Chaos and peace

Dawn turns to dusk

Hide, seek; moments become memories.

So I get lost sometimes

In the endless wait;

Who was I, who am I,

And even tomorrow,

Will I matter?

 

More questions, and I wait

Again. Waiting is lonely,

And Change empties me,

Yet I wait, again and again–

For the excitement of anticipation

The numbness of uncertainty,

The chance of a new beginning,

Alone, by myself.

Because people

Take away the magic–

Of the frantic heartbeat

And the wrecking nerves,

The praying lips

And the eyes, awake and keen.

 

I wait,

For every time I get lost

In the sudden swiftness of change

I find myself a little bit more.

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19 responses to “Finding Me…..by Me

  1. Oh sunshine i love this so much because i relate well with it.
    I have travelled this route so many times, seeking to find out me. I got lost many times too for so many reasons.
    Most times we search the wrong places and even when we do find the right place to search, we mostly do know that which we seek.
    Over time i realise that looking within is not the best place to start because what you have within you is mostly influenced by without.
    Self love without self understanding can be misinterpreted as pride and overconfidence and what have you.
    The best place to find our truest self is in our maker. He has our blueprint and He alone can perfect the within and without if we let him. To find and love oneself is to acknowledge and appreciate the master designer.
    So I think 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is a deep poem,
    a product of several hours spent in soul searching
    The most important question we can ever ask is “who am I?”
    and the answer is never straight forward, and it has so many layers and facets…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: Finding Me. | Miniscule Diary

    • My dear, this wonderful piece issued forth from your own bountiful reservoir of wise words so I’m the one who should say thank you. It opened up my eyes and I see how beautiful you’re inside. Keep shining your wonderful light. And may you shine it for loooong!☺

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Self Discovery and re-discovery is a journey that we all must make at some point in our lives, to know who we really are.

    In this piece, Me totally captures the circle and cycles of the process, for many.

    The first part talks about the fear and anxiety. The next part, about the internal conflicts, the third part about the pain of waiting for answers….and in the end, there is a reward: ”for every time I get lost. …….I find myself a little bit more.”

    Me darling, I can’t say how much of a privilege it is to feature you on my space. This is deep. You are deep. And you make a lot of sense. Well done my dear. I’m completely awed by you. 👏👍👌

    Liked by 3 people

    • Once more, thank you Zika ma’am. I must say you have a thorough gift from bringing people out of their comfort zones. The topic was challenging, not something I would write on on a very typical day… but you pushed me to and through it, and ‘m so so glad. Thank you very much ma’am for this, because every time I read this piece, I find more meaning in it. Like ‘m learning from me, about me, over and over again.

      It is over-filling! I can’t thank you enough. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Owkay! So I’ve read this beautiful piece for the umpteenth time and I find its certainly not the musings of a simple mind! Its sooo multi-faceted that dissecting it into bits and pieces, is no mean feat! I mean, there’s the issue of waiting, change and life in general to include hope, love, joy, dreams and death! You’re deep ME, I gotta tell you! This totally smarts! 👉😄

    Discovery of self is a neccessity and I think its a lifelong process as we undergo various experiences in the school of life! George .C. Lichtenberg says ‘He who’s in love with himself has at least one advantage- he won’t encounter many rivals’! 😂😂😂

    On a more serious note, a lot has been said ‘ bout how to embark on this all-important joyrney of self discovery! The legendary Mohandas Gandhi asserts that the best way to finding oneself is to losing oneself in the service of others! Michel de Montaigne says he does not care so much what he is to others, as he cares what he is to himself! I guess he recognizes that being true to self is the ultimate achievement a mortal should pursue! Its all that matters!

    Waiting can be painstaking and pretty challenging….plain exhausting! It teaches patience, endurance and long suffering! The fruits of a successful waiting period are priceless and we find it was well worth the wait! 😊😇

    I love the three final lines ME! Those communicate just how strong a person you are! Charles Darwin surmises that ‘Its not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent but the ones most responsive to change’! Our lives are characterized by changes and circumstances! While some folks agree that adversities reveal a man, others say to discover the true character of a man; give him power! 😈😆

    In closing, even as we discover our true selves; one commonality binds us all….the pursuit of happiness! Nathaniel Hawthorne likens happiness to a Butterfly! He says when its pursued, its always just beyond our grasp; but when we sit down quietly; it may alight upon us!

    Solitude, not loneliness is a great time for a personal retreat; even if one’s in a room filled with people! We search our hearts, and listen to our souls and spirits, the real us…our instincts guide and instruct us! Alone is great for a spell, we shouldn’t dwell too long therein but simply just make the best of every moment we’re privileged to be a part of!

    See what you made me do Cupcakes?! 😩🙆You simply just set me off in ALL directions and I do actually feel like a Locomotive….’bout to derail so get outta the way! 😈😆

    Write and rock on ME, you’re a Powerhouse for real! Lotsa ❤! 😂😂😂

    Liked by 2 people

    • Madam Yemi, I am in awe of you and your mind. Totally. Honestly, while writing this piece, much as it made so much sense to me and my inner mind, I wasn’t quite sure it’d make that much sense to others. But this right here is gladdening.

      I am indeed humbled that you have seen through my words in ways that not many others would, and even taught me more about this mundane and innate need, for continuous self discovery.

      You are a gem, and your mind is simply rarified. I appreciate you tons. Thanks ma’am.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Wow! Am totally humbled Cupcakes…by ‘really’! 😇😄That special guy who eventually does steal your heart away, and takes your heartbeat from you, would be simply stark raving ‘cooreizy’; to let you walk! You. Are. The. Gem. 💎One of a kind! A Special kinda Special…absolutely unique! 🌟🌟🌟Sparklies remember??? 😊😄

        Keep keeping on ME, I’ve got only great love,❤ mad respect 🙇and admiration 🙉🙊 for ya! You float ma boat and you’re just simply a bundle of talents….’Awe-tastic’! That’s who you be! R-E-S-P-E-C-T! 👏👏👏

        Liked by 2 people

    • reading this analysis (not comment), it felt I was in a literature/philosophy class in front of an eminent professor of the arts…

      it is no doubt that Yemie is an intellectual…one who takes pain to think through the works that she reads, and then from a rich reservoir of her knowledge sheds light and insight…

      should anyone have a problem with deciphering this poem, this analysis right here has done justice to it..

      thank you Yemie for happening to the blogosphere, you do not know how much of a difference you are making. your comments embody the whole essence of blogging, of writing, of the poets and writers putting their works out there…when they read this, they know that they really have connected to someone…and that feeling cannot be captured in words.

      Liked by 4 people

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